Compared with other men she met on Match.com, Maltempo was far less flirtatious and more direct.
But after a friend urged Jiang, a 27-year-old native of China, to give Maltempo a chance, she realized that unlike some other people she was talking to, there was substance behind Maltempo’s messages.
A little over a year later, Maltempo married a woman he met on the site.
But dating — online or off — was hardly a smooth experience.
Maltempo says women occasionally made assumptions about him based on his race.
“When [I was] dating non-Asians, sometimes they were interested in exotic factors that I’m not a white guy,” he said.
Alan Montecillo logged on to Ok Cupid and started filling out his profile.
“Dialogue rather than just messaging.” At first, Maltempo’s wife, Xue Jiang, was unimpressed by his messages. The TV shows “Master of None” and “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” for example, stand out for pairing Asian men with white women.“I know sometimes Asian men are not considered attractive, just because we don’t have many examples of Asian men in the media to be considered attractive,” Maltempo said.He needed online dating only to “work once,” he says, and it did.In the process, Montecillo, 25, also learned to not judge himself based on others people’s standards.
Tao Liu, a doctorate student in counseling psychology at Indiana University, has measured how Asian American men experience gendered racism.